canislatrans-var nealashitposts
nealashitposts

A year or so ago I went to wood carving club with a bruised eye from my dog slamming his nose into my eyesocket and like every old lady there pulled me aside at some point to ask if my partner hit me here are some of the solutions they had in case he did.

-Replacing his vitimens with poision

- getting her brother to invite him out onto his boat and then killing him and dumping him in the ocean and saying he got drunk and fell off.

- get tboned with him in the passenger seat and then once he was in the hospital theres all kinds of easy ways to kill him like not washing my hands after a poop and then touching his wound casually.

-replacing his drink of choice with moonshine!?

- take him on a hike thats locally notorious for a rapid otter attacking hikers and once he had rabies I could just kill him any ol way and say self defense.

-One lady just cheerfully informed me she had a gun and only a few years left anyway

janedrewfinally
pizzopaps sexandmagic
sexandmagic

the other night i was jacking my meat off but had to stop because i was suddenly overcome with a new interpretation of the problem of evil and my fucking vibrator died because i was too busy pondering that particular theological quandary to think about sex. so that's how i've been doing

sexandmagic

image

my minions are being funnier than me on my own post